I'm a sucker for lists. Every time I go shopping, I write one. Then I forget to take it with me. The A4 notebook that accompanies me everywhere at work is full of to-do lists for every day I'm there, because otherwise I can get halfway home before I realise that the vitally important meeting hasn't been booked, or the work I kindly volunteered to do for somebody I need to impress has been ignored all day. Lists are the way to go for the absent-minded. Trust me on this. I should know.
So, in the spirit of list-making, here's a list of suff that makes me smile. Even if some of it makes me cringe as well.
1. My son's delightful conversation openers: He's at a curious age. Thing is, he doesn't know how to frame the questions he wants to ask. So our conversations begin abruptly with "You got boobies" or "That bin, is it for the things you put in the front when you're not growing a baby?" Ah, the joys of taking a four-year-old to the toilets in John Lewis. Every time, we get overheard.
2. The Morecambe and Wise breakfast sketch: It's like magic. Even if I start off miserable, by the time they squeeze the grapefruits I'm giggling like a loon.
3. Hollyoaks: Oh, it's great. The child actors knock spots off those in any other soap on television. It features Kris, the gobby cross-dressing Irish bisexual, quite possibly the best character that has ever been invented for a continuing series, and the McQueens, loveable chavs extraordinaire, especially Michaela who is unreservedly brilliant. It's half an hour of pure distilled joy, althoug occasionally you have to knock off points here and there for Andrex puppy stunt double Hannah Ashworth and shouty rubbernecking tart Cindy Hutchinson. Oh, Tony. And you could have been a McQueen-in-law.
4. Butternut squash: It's a healthy vegetable, and it looks rude enough to cause helpless giggles. It wins on all points.
5. Enid Blyton stories: The sheer improbable dated middle-classness of it all, not to mention the many sublime double entendres, makes me cry laughing every time. Plus I just burped. That's always funny too. Happy days.